From the Hip, The Straight Dope

Validation and WTF

    Was in San Francisco the other day, and I couldn't help but notice the cell phone usage outside in the downtown area.  There must have been at least 50 sheep people grazing the cement grasslands with cell phones.  All of them screaming that they must be validated.  This is how I perceive it, although I'm quite sure that many of them had real reasons to be talking. (Hell, I'm sure they all feel they had real reasons, or else they wouldn't be talking) To me, with so many of them talking it just seemed to scream "LOOK AT ME!! I HAVE FRIENDS!! EVEN THOUGH YOU CAN'T SEE HIM/HER I, YES, I HAVE SOMEONE TO TALK TO!!!THIS PHONE IS MY TEAT AND LOOK AT ME SUCK!!!YOU WILL VALIDATE WHO I AM, AND IF YOU DO NOT THE PERSON ON THE PHONE WILL!! I AM SOMEBODY!!"   I'm with a co-worker who I explain this to, and halfway though my explanation of this derange thought I realize what I must do.  I decided give each person who is walking by talking on a cell phone my own personal validation of their mere existence.  I gave each one of them a look in the eye, a node of the chin and said to them "You have been validated, I see that you're someone to reckon with"  Of course so I didn't come off to crazy, I had pulled out my cell phone and said this into the receiver.

    W.T.F (what the fuck)  What is it with these 12-14 year old kids playing god on game servers!!  Some will kick you if you swear, some will kick you for being racist and some will kick you if they feel you're cheating because your doing some serious ass kicking.  Let me address and clarify to these kids how life is and you can't ban a person in life because you don't agree with them.  So let me apply the why in life because you to dam stupid to think for yourself.

Swearing:  We swear because we are pissed, and what better way to let others know than to spell FUCK YOU on a game server when you're getting your ass kicked.  If you're at a club and you step on someone's foot and they say to you "YOU FUCKIN' ASSHOLE, YOU STEPPED ON MY FOOT"  I dare you to say, "You are kicked for swearing, if you come back and do it again, you will be banned"  At this point, expect a good will ass kicking.  If you can't handle good ol fashion beat down, then stop trying to PLAY admin god.  Oh, and by the way, when this guy is pounding your face into the concrete you can swear all you want.

Racist remarks:  You say that to someone when you know you can't win an argument with any logical sense.  You call them a name.  People with agendas do this quite a lot.  Gay groups love to call people gay bashers when they have nothing more to say and don't want to hear what you have to say at all, even if you only disagree with one aspect of what's being said.  I.E. you say, "Gay people should have equal rights, but I don't want it shoved into my face every two seconds, I'm tired of hearing it."  If those words come from your lips, and a gay person who has an agenda hears it, you will be labeled a gay homophobe.

Cheating:  I see this quite a lot.  Especially in games like Counter Strike or Day of Defeat.  It seems that every other month there is some sort of wall hack or aim bot available to download and use before Valve can detect it.  So with that in mind, when you have someone playing CS for 5 years and has the skillz to be unmatched by anyone on the server he or she will be accused of cheating and most likely kicked/banned.  I have two thoughts on this..

                My first thought is this, get a god dam new game asshole!! Playing CS to the point where you OWN is good for the ego, but could you squeeze any more out of your Counter Strike CD  Key.  You own, great, now go toss one on your fuckin computer screen.  After that, go out and buy another game.  The truth is this, for those who don't know, people who own at one game, suck at the rest.  The reason they own is because their ego won't allow them to play a game where they can't win, so they end up going back to what they know.  Human Nature doesn't like change. but it will adapt.  This doesn't apply to everyone of course, it's just a stereotype.  If you're that good then you're cheating the rest of us that suck.  That's where the swearing and racist remarks come from.  Because we suck, we can't logically argue with your excellent skillz.  We resort to name calling.  Don't back me into a corner,  I'll call you every hate name I know to get at you!!(Even to the point where I get BANNED)  I'm sure there are certain words that you can't stand to hear.  I'll find them.  That is the price you pay for being so good.  Besides if you are really  that good you should be playing in real tournaments with players that match your skill.  Not fucking with the rest of us on public serves.  Go fuck yourself, you know who you are.

        Second thought is for the people who actually use the wall hacks and aim bots.  Good for you, cheating is relative.  Let me explain.  I come from the old school of playing video games, going back to Pong and the Atari 2600.  For me the first cheat that I believe was a cheat was the PAUSE feature that came out with the Atari 5200 console.  Cheating is when you have an unfair advantage over someone else.  If you could pause a game, how is that fair to the person who can't.  If you're wall hacking a FPS(First Person Shooter) game then it's for two reasons.  1. You suck so bad, that you will step beyond name calling and show them what you're made of.  I have been this desperate.  You already know you suck, why have some punk player telling you  that you been OWNED. 2.You have nothing better to do than to fuck with the other team.  Which I'm also guilty of.  Cheating is fun, it builds up your self esteem.  You get something for nothing.  Instant gratification, it doesn't get better than that.   Use your wall hacks and aim bots, because eventually you'll want to know how good you really are.  That is, if you don't quit first.  And besides in time your wall hacks and aim bots will be detected by the servers and you'll either go back to the net and download an undetectable version or learn to play without one.  Keep on trucking on.

    To wrap it up for the 14 year olds who think they are god because the run a game server let me end it with this.  Stop playing god.  If the players on your server are cheating and swearing and saying racists names let them.  Those playing, who can't stand the language being used will leave, leaving the hard core assholes to battle it out.  If you want a good clean server with none of that, then name you're server Christians Only and have the password set to Christ.  I'm pretty sure when we stormed the beach in Normandy no one was booted from the beach for calling names.  Good Sportsmanship ended with the internet.  Because I can hide from behind my computer and not been seen, gives me the right to say whatever I want.  Fuck you all.