Forever Young My Ass

    Was watching that new Saturn Commercial, and I say god dam marketing people are playing with my childhood like it was a toy.  The 80's sucked as it was, and now to have some Gen X marketing people spewing how great it was makes me sick.  Maybe their not saying how great it was as opposed to cashing in on that pop corn cheese music from that time.  Like that Saturn commercial playing "Forever Young" by Alphaville.  Every time I hear that song it reminds me of that lame 80's film "Listen to Me" starring Kirk Camreron from "Growing Pains"  I'm not sure a lot of Gen X'ers remember that movie and therefore don't have that connection.   Lucky them.

    I grew up in the 80's and I believed at that time those were great years only to have it destroyed by the 90's propaganda about how bad and fake it was.  The propganda turned out to be true because when I went back and listened to the music, news stories, movies, and pretty much any main stream media seemed pretty lame.  I was a victim of the Rubics Cube, Pac Man, and  Voodoo Econoimcs.  Oh, how I hate President Regan.  I blame him for injuring my Collie Dog.  Indirectly of course.  Please sit back and read my tale of evil.

    In the 80's my friends used to go to Halfway Park, and at the park the Ranger would break out games to play, basketballs, softballs and bats to play with.  Well one day we went there and the Park Ranger wasn't there.  It truned out that parks and recreation was one of the many programs Reagan cut (along with many others)  So being left to our own devices we adapted.  We made up our own games and got our own basket balls.  But then the older teenager kids came along.

    They realized that since the Park Ranger was no longer there it was the perfect place to smoke pot and drink beer.  One hot summer day I went over to the park with the family Collie dog and the smell of cheap skunk weed was in the air,  Then I saw them, all four of them sitting at the table.  Since I was with my dog I felt pretty safe.  Most of the time the older kids just ingored us grade schoolers.  But that day was the wrong day to go to the park.  As I was keeping my distance, one of the punks yelled out "Attack!!"  I turned and started to run.  I started to sceam "Sick, Lady, Sick"  (Lady being the name of our family dog)  This was just a ploy to buy some time from being jumped and being that the dog was a Collie and not a Pit Bull she started nipping at my ankles thinking it was some sort a game I was playing.  She soon realized that it was no game when the four aholes got up from the table and started screaming which caught her attention.  She stopped and looked at them, which was a mistake.  They were about 20 feet away and instead of attacking me they picked up their empty beer bottles and started thowing.  Lucky for me, I was out of thowing range but the dog was not!!  The first beer bottle grenade hit the concrete five feet in front of her and exploded, chardes of glass bounced upwards into her face damaging her right eye.  She gave off the loudest yelp cry I ever heard from a dog and started running home, she maybe got another foot before the second bottle hit her in the back leg, she must of thought somthing or someone was biting her, because she turned around to snap at her hind leg not realizing it was just a glass bottle.  The third bottle which would have surely missed if she had continue running hit her on the left side of her head as she turned right to snap at her back leg.  Another dog cry yelp came out as the glass bottle bounced off the back of her head.  She turned and with a limp ran passed me and straight for home.  I wasn't far behind crying my ass off.  She was after all the family dog.  Of course when my older brother Rick, and two of his friends went to the park with baseball bats to seek justice the mother fuckers had left.  The dog was taken to the vet and with the exception of her right eye and a bump on her head and hind leg she was ok and recovered within a week.  The family understanding between all four siblings was this.  If they ever showed up at the park, justice would be served.  They were never seen again...

    Since we never found them, and as I grew older and took goverment classes I found out the person to really blame was Reagan.  If he had not cut the Parks programs my dog wouldn't have injured.  The Ranger would not have allowed this to happen.  It's been many years now, and just to recount that story hurts Tha Gierk.  So now I blame reagan until I can find the perps who com