Bent over, without any Lubrication.

An Online Auction Jack

    Maddox brought up the good old fashion CompUsa rape at his website.  So I decided write about the misgivings I have with another store that serves to rip you off.  The only fair part about this rape, is this.  Both the buyer and the seller not only try to rape each other but rape any other uninformed buyer in the process.  Of course I'm talking about EBAY. 

The raped Victim

    It's the biggest stolen good market in the world.  So before the product even goes to market, a law abiding citizen has been done in the corn hole, because he/she went to work only to come home to discover that he/she have been robbed.  Once they file a claim with their home owners insurance they get reimbursed (after they pay the $500.00 deductible) (rape) if the claim isn't turned down they get their money.  After a month a two they then discover that their insurance has gone up (rape) because they had filed a claim.

The Seller

   Even if the seller didn't do Joe citizen in the ass, he/she may still have a product to sell.  And will perform the act anyway.  I will use a fake seller who's name will be Chris Hissy.  This guy tried to sell the souls of the 2000 dead from 9/11 terrorist attack on Craig's list. Said he was able to talk to every one of them when he was in a trance.  And Chris became very upset when Craig called him up and told him to stop or face a nice long legal battle.  Now when I talk to this Chris H (seller) he loves to say rape with every sell.  When his auction ends and some poor soul has been done in, Chris stands up from his chair grabs the monitor and pretends to hump it while screaming "RAPE!, RAPE!, RAPE!"  In this particular case I asked what was sold and for how much.  This time around it was a 1980's Adidas Shirt that was sold for $10.00 dollars.  Which is a fair price, but what the buyer didn't see was the outrageous shipping and handling charge that came with it. $20.00 for shipping and handling!!  Chris plans to send it from his job and the company will not know, and if they did he plays dumb and makes the excuse that he didn't know it was wrong to do such a thing, because nobody told him he couldn't and because of this ends up only paying for the true cost.  Which turns out to be $3.00  Now when I question him on the outrageous shipping and handling charge his excuse is something to the effect that the it was posted in the auction.  It's the sellers fault for not reading.  Which is true.  Much like a rape victim being blamed in the court of law for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.  "Your Honor, She knew that she lived in a high crime neighborhood, it's her fault for walking home so late from work.  She wanted to be raped." Which is crap.  Of course if the buyer didn't want to pay that kind of cash for shipping and handling then it's their fault for bidding.  Free Market, I understand.

The Buyer

    The buyers on Ebay are no better than the Sellers.  A lot of the time, the buyers are also sellers, so they understand the rape.  So they to have their own games.  Most buyers won't throw down a bid until the last few minutes of an auction. It's called Vulching.  Even though it's been up on the site for 6 days, 11 hours they haven't put a dime down for a bid.  That way they are assured to get the lowest price and out bid anyone who has a bid on it.  20 seconds left in an auction, they throw down a dollar more to out bid the current bidder and the other guy can't or doesn't have time to counter bid.  Again, blame the buyer.  Ebay has a policy for you to put as much down for an item as you feel the item is worth.  If you feel the item is worth 30 bones (not including shipping and handling) then you max your bid out to 30 dollars.  So, lets get real for just a second.

     I needed to buy a power supply for my Hi8 camera.  Buy it now had it for 55 dollars plus shipping and handling ($15.00)(rape)  I go into the auction with 9 hours left.  First the seller jacks me on reserve price.  It's like 40 dollars for reserve.  I put up 45.00 dollars and secure my bid.  Then a few hours later Ted and Nancy come in at $47.00  With 3 hours left on the auction I decide to make my maximum bid $55.00.  There's no way I'm going to go over the Buy it now price of $55.00(which is no longer an option)  The auction ends and I win with $47.00 plus the $15.00 shipping and handling.  Total cost 62.00 as opposed to the buy it now price of 55.00 plus 15.00 for shipping and handling =$70.00.  I saved 8 bucks.  I feel like for once I got a deal until the product comes in.  When I look at the return sender which is supposed to be a company called Audio/Video something it's instead TED AND NANCY!!  The very same jerks who jacked up the price from 45 to 47.  Not to mention the true cost for shipping was 5.97 not 15.00.  According to a friend that extra 9 dollars is the "HANDLING" part of shipping and handling.

    Of course I leave some negative feedback for the buyer, who promptly lets me have it in their retort.  Like typical Ebay Sellers who get bad or negative remarks they reply, that I was a hostile buyer, unreasonable, not prompt with payment, could have worked something out if I would have contacted them first instead of leaving a negative comment.  Which is bullshit.  The buyers on Ebay want you to send an unhappy thought via email to them first.  Not to work it out, but to be ready with reply that someone is going to leave negative feedback.  Work up their defense so to speak.  So now what I do is this.  The way I now fight back is simple, now whenever I buy something and get raped, instead of writing what went wrong, I just write WTF!! with my spam email account.  Now whoever sees that in the sellers history will send me an email and I can truly explain my side of the story.

Conclusion

    I have a solution for the Vulching that goes on at EBAY.  If I can find someone to fund it.  I call it "10minuteAuction.com"  And basically it works like this.  Every Auction is 10 minutes.  No end of auction date.  Item is not taken down for one month or until it's been sold.  Seller pays no posting fee until it's sold.  Here's the catch.  Once a bid is put down and meets the sellers reserve price (if one) the auction for that item ends in 10 minutes.

    Of course when I tell Chris Hissy, my idea he balks.  "That doesn't benefit the seller, As a seller I want the max time for my item, so that vulching can occur, and I make the most profit."  I say "Great, the site isn't set up for your kind, If you want that, then stay with Ebay"  As a buyer I want something that benefits me.  If a seller on Ebay has some nick knacks that can't be sold then post them on my site and see what happens.  Every item isn't gold and many items get jacked up because Ebay sellers who aren't stupid like Ted and Nancy have secondary buyer accounts that they bid with, when one of their items isn't going for what the seller REALLY wants they outbid the highest bidder and pay the posting fee to Ebay, and try to resale it down the line.  Ted and Nancy were stupid and I caught them.  Shipping it with their real name on the return address.  Smart sellers wouldn't do that.